Thursday, March 8, 2012

Sh*tfoot

I love kittens. Who doesn't love kittens? If you don't love kittens then you're obviously an asshole and kittens (and puppies, and everything else in the world) is better off without you.

But you know what I don't like about kittens? Sometimes they poop on their feet. Or they step in their poop. And then they enthusiastically jump up onto the bed to cuddle up for the night and you realize... that smell is too intense - too close - something is very wrong...

When one of our cats was still a kitten his nickname was Shitfoot. Easily once a week he'd step in it or somehow get it onto his foot and parade around the house while shaking one back leg like he was in his own little conga line.

I remember chasing him around with a wet rag trying to clean him up. What a treat that was. There's a reason I don't have kids. To change their diapers I'd want to take them outside and hose them down. It just seems easier.

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